‘I think I might be pregnant…’

Ok, so you've missed a period and you've found yourself asking the dreaded question `am I pregnant?'
`I can't be', you say to yourself but no matter what you do, the thought keeps popping back into your head. Maybe if you try not to think about it, it will go away. `Sometimes, you just have to ignore something to make it go away, don't you?'

Sadly the answer to that question is `No'. If you think you are pregnant the first thing you need to do is to be sure. It is always better to find out sooner rather than later. This way you can consider your options and plan things carefully. You can take a pregnancy test which is available at most chemists or you can go and visit your doctor who can give you a more definite answer. If you're not comfortable going to see your own doctor then you can visit the family planning clinic or the local Genito-Urinary Medicine (GUM) clinic.

What do I do if I am pregnant?

No two people will feel the same when they find out that they are pregnant. Just remember that it is okay to be scared. Try not to go through it all alone. Open up to someone and tell them what has happened. This can be anyone from a family member to a friend. However if you feel you don't want to talk to someone who is close to you, then speak to a tutor, counsellor or a doctor. Telling someone will give you a chance to talk through your options and may even help to make things clearer in your own mind too.

There are a number of options available to you:

One is to keep the baby. This in itself may seem like a scary prospect, you may find yourself asking the question, `is it feasible to have a baby while you're at uni?'
The answer to this question is `Yes'. It may be hard studying whilst you are pregnant and you may have to defer your studies for a year once the baby arrives, but it can be done. There are a number of support networks available to help you through this - the university counselling service, student support services and also through organisations such as LIFE (www.lifeuk.org) . You may even find that your friends and family are willing to lend a hand.

Another option is adoption. Adoption will provide your child with a legal family and can be done through various agencies. You will be providing your child with a family who will care for and look after it and for some people this may be the best option for them. If you consider adoption then you must talk it through thoroughly with someone who understands and can give you advice on everything involved.

A third option is abortion or termination. This involves ending your pregnancy and can be done through the NHS or privately with the agreement of two doctors. The method is different for the various stages of pregnancy. Make sure you talk to someone thoroughly before you decide on this method too.

Some people may find that telling the father that they are expecting his child is actually more difficult than finding out that they are pregnant. This doesn't mean that the father should not be told. He may surprise you by being more supportive than you expected.
His initial reaction may vary from disbelief, shock, anger, guilt or happiness. The important thing is to allow him time for it to sink in. Don't get caught up in why it happened or whose fault it is as this will create more tension for both of you. If things do get too tense try to get out of the room for five minutes to cool off and collect your thoughts. Letting the father know about your pregnancy allows you to talk through your options together and support each other. If however, the father chooses not to support the baby then at least he has had the opportunity to get involved.
Remember if you don't feel comfortable approaching your own GP to discuss your pregnancy then you can go and see a doctor at your local family planning clinic or GUM clinic. You can find your nearest GUM clinic at http://www.bashh.org/directory. htm.

Finding out your girlfriend's expecting a child can be scary. You may have so many questions going through your mind about whether to keep the baby or not. If you go ahead and have the baby what's going to happen in the future? There are various options available to you and the mother: keeping the baby, adoption or abortion/termination. You need to discuss your options together and decide what to do as a unit. Remember the baby was created by two people so its future is the responsibility of two people. With this in mind, always remember that you can seek advice and support from friends, family or outside professionals. If you can, try and reassure the mother that you will do everything you can to support her and the baby.
Some men find themselves in the position of wanting to be fully involved with the baby and the pregnancy but they don't have the support of the mother to do this. You may find that she does not want your help or wants to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption once it's born. If this is the case, technically the father has no rights over the un-born baby. Once the baby is born however the father does have rights and there are various outside agencies available that can guide and support you through the process.

www.lifeuk.org
Helpline: 0845 300 1716
9 am to 9pm, 7 days a week.
Pro-life organisation offering support to individuals going through a pregnancy. Support is offered through LIFE centres, helpline and through the website.

CARE confidential Helpline - 0800 028 2228
Provide telephone support through which you can speak to a counsellor about your pregnancy and decide upon which options are best for you.
www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com
Support

www.adoptionuk.com
Information on adoptions

www.bpas.org
Provides information on abortions.

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